


Just For This Moment

by CaptainoftheUSSTardis



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: ... sort of, Alternate Universe, And Hux is Glinda, And replace the Wizard with Snoke, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo is basically Elphaba, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Non-Explicit, Wicked (Musical) - Freeform, Wicked AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-22 16:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6086610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainoftheUSSTardis/pseuds/CaptainoftheUSSTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Wicked: The Musical AU) Kylo Ren decides once and for all to defect from the First Order and wants Hux to follow him...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Defying Gravity

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on this tumblr post: http://sakurita94.tumblr.com/post/138599628825/whispers-a-wickedkylux-au-to-the-tune-of done by the lovely sakurita94.tumblr.com. 
> 
> And since I love both Wicked and Kylux, I had to write a fic. This could potentially (most likely) become a series, with chapters/events based upon the other songs. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Vicious shouts echoed in his ears. Blinding red beams of blaster fire filled the hall, almost suffocating him. But they never got close. Every time a beam came within a foot of him, Kylo Ren stopped them mid-air, leaving them hanging frozen in time. His lightsaber bounced against his belt as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him. And considering he was pulling Hux by the arm behind him, Ren was going at a decent enough pace to out-run Supreme Leader Snoke’s guards. Ren didn’t have time to look back at the General’s expression when he ran from the grand audience chamber, but he knew Hux wasn’t happy. Still, he didn’t stop Ren from pulling him along.

They managed to get all the way up a few floors of the building when Ren spotted an unguarded door down an empty hallway. Somewhere, Hux was telling him to stop, to slow down, but it only felt like a whisper. The door was wood, not heavy metal or titanium. Old. Ren pushed the door open with more force than was actually needed and pulled Hux in with him. The room was dimly lit, safe for a large window at the opposite end, the light of the grey sky seeping in. There were no signs of any modern technology. Only massive file cabinets covered half the floor. It was like some sort of ancient library.

Ren reached out with the Force and moved one of the cabinets in front of the door, barricading them inside. Hopefully there were no other entrances to this room. When he turned to look back at Hux, a fist met his jaw. Ren instinctively put a hand to his mouth. No blood, but it damn-well hurt. If Hux’s fist hurt from the impact, he didn’t show it. He only breathed hard, looking at the Knight with anger, fear and confusion.

“ _You’re insane, Ren_ ,” the General spat. “You’ve just sentenced us to death. I hope you’re happy.” Ren couldn’t respond, the sudden rush of what he’d done hit him like a tidal wave. He was more frightened in that moment than ever before.

“I hope _you’re_ happy!” The Knight lashed out at the General. “You must be so proud that you could grovel in submission to him, only for your own ambition.”

Suddenly, Hux took a deep breath, relaxing a little. Ren knew him well enough to know he was playing out the scenario in his head, calculating every possible outcome in which they wouldn’t be killed for committing high treason.

“Listen,” he said, this time more quietly. “You can apologize for what you’ve done, find some excuse. The punishment will be severe but it’s better than the alternative.” Ren was almost taken aback. Hux was practically pleading. He would never plead for anything in his life. Hux’s gloved-hand cupped the Knight’s cheek, his eyes glimmered in the dim light. “You can still stay in the ranks. With me. You can still have all you ever wanted.”

Ren looked away, unable to meet his eyes. He made his choice in the audience chamber. He couldn’t – _wouldn’t_ – go back. “But I don’t want it.”   _No._ “I can’t want this anymore.” Hux looked at him in utter confusion.

“Ren, what are you talking about?” A million emotions swirled in his chest, making it ache.

“I… can’t do this anymore. Something has changed.”

“You’re having delusions of grandeur!”

“No! I’m through with this life, with playing by someone else’s rules,” Ren clenched his fists, but it felt so right to say those words, to feel a weight lifted off his chest. Hux took a step back, eyeing the door. A thought seized him. Hux was going to shout, blast through the door, betray him to Snoke’s forces. But the general didn’t move.

“Ren, what has gotten into you?”

Ren took a deep breath, closing his eyes. The memories still pained him, even after all this time. “When we found that Resistance ship,” he almost couldn’t bring himself to say the words. “General Organa…” _Say it, damn you._ “My mother was on board. I saw her. And she saw me. She could still look me in the eyes, after what I’d done. She could still look at the monster who murdered his own father, her husband. She had all this hope in her eyes. Hope for me. And I was so close… I was holding my lightsaber out… but I couldn’t do it. I let her escape, along with however many other Resistance fighters there were.” Hux was completely silent, taking in what Ren had said. He expected him to be furious, but he only gazed at him with sympathy.

The hairs on Ren’s neck stood with the sound of faint footsteps. The guards were approaching, and he needed to leave. But something caught flame in his mind. It was foolish, irrational, and utterly reckless, but… “Come with me,” Ren suggested, taking Hux’s hands in his. The thought of not seeing him again, except on opposite sides of a war ate through him. He couldn’t bear it. “Think of what we could do. Together.” Hope and uncertainty filled his voice. Hux seemed as if he would accept right then and there, but his face fell. He shook his head, tears threatening to escape his eyes.

“I hope you’re happy, now that you’re choosing this,” Hux whispered, pulling up Ren’s hands to kiss them.

“You, too,” Ren replied, defeated. He savoured the touch of the general’s soft lips against his hands. The last time they could hold each other, kiss each other, comfort each other. “I hope it brings you bliss…” Ren leaned in and pressed his lips against Hux’s, taking in his taste, his scent, his touch, everything he could before leaving him.

Hux pulled away upon hearing the sound of more footsteps, closer this time. _Much_ closer. Their foreheads still touching, Hux gently stroked Ren’s scar across his face. It felt like a millennia since the day he’d gotten it. “Don’t regret this,” Hux breathed.

A thunderous pound at the door, the guards were jamming their blasters, their bodies against it. The filing cabinet wouldn’t hold up much longer, and Ren didn’t have time to reinforce it. He eyed the large window across the room. It would be a large drop, but the city was full of other buildings, ships he could hijack. The Knight kissed Hux one last time before marching over to the window and pushing another cabinet through the glass, breaking it. Another crash ringed in his ears somewhere behind him. The guards had forced their way into the room and seized a hold of Hux. Panic raced through him.

“It wasn’t him!” he shouted, diverting their attention. The thought of Hux dying because of what he did shattered him completely. How would he be able to live with himself? He only hoped Hux had the right sense to deny taking any sort of blame for what Ren had done.

The guards turned their blasters on the knight, though two still held Hux tightly by the arms. “It wasn’t him!” he shouted again. “It was me!” Blaster fire rained down, but Ren was quicker. Like light speed, he whipped out his crimson lightsaber, deflecting the bolts back at the guards. More were rushing into the room, and Ren told himself to go. Go or be killed. He gazed at Hux, who seemed as if he was thinking the same thing. Tears were welling in his eyes as he took in the sight of the general, _his_ general. But before they could blur his vision, he jumped.

Landing roughly on a nearby rooftop, he ran, ignoring his aching ankles, ignoring the thought of what would happen to him – to Hux – if he was caught before leaving the system. But however much he tried, the Knight couldn’t ignore the life ahead of him, a life without Hux. And that hurt him more than anything.   


	2. As Long As You're Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses on General’s Hux's struggle of remaining loyal to the First Order and everything he’d been raised on or to the man who defected. The art this chapter was based on is: http://sakurita94.tumblr.com/post/138867050425/that-beautiful-moment-when-your-homicidal-bf
> 
> Writing this chapter was much more difficult than the previous, not just because the song “As Long as You’re Mine” was more difficult to translate into spoken dialogue, but also getting Hux’s struggle right. (Some of the lyrics are spoken, but the themes of the song are more present.) 
> 
> I also tried to weave in elements of "Thank Goodness" in the sense that everyone is against the defected Kylo Ren (like when the Ozians call Elphaba "wicked") but Hux is still unable to see him as anything other than a man whom he loved, even though he tries to see him as everyone else does. (Hint: it doesn't work out very well.) 
> 
> Anyway, that's my mini analysis. Enjoy the chapter!

“Sir? Sir!”

General Hux snapped out of his thoughts, cursing himself for losing focus. He turned from the expansive window on the bridge, displaying nothing but the darkness of space and the glimmer of stars light years away. The _Finalizer_ was quiet, as it had been for five months since he was stationed back on the Star Destroyer. Five months without a single console or piece of equipment destroyed at Kylo Ren’s outrage. It was the only thing about him he didn’t miss. But even that was not entirely true. On days when Ren would lash out at a defenseless console, his crimson blade striking the metal and circuitry until it was rendered useless, he would eventually find himself in Hux’s private quarters in the late hours of the night. They would sit on his bed, holding each other, falling asleep in each other’s arms… _Don’t think about him,_ the General snapped at himself. _He left. He left to join those loathsome –_ he stopped himself and took a deep breath. Mentally scrutinizing Ren would not bring him back. This he knew all too well.

“Yes, what is it, Lieutenant?” He asked the officer in front of him. Mitaka looked as if he were to ask if anything was wrong, but decided against it. _Smart._

“The- the paperwork you requested is in your office, sir,” Mitaka reported, only slightly quivering. Still nervous around superior officers after what Ren did to him.

Hux nodded, only slightly interested. “Thank you,” he said, dismissing him. The officer turned to leave but abruptly stopped himself, remembering something else, something he clearly didn’t want to report. _Well, get on with it,_ Hux thought, wanting to be left alone again.

Mitaka swallowed. “Major Ellyn on board the _Avenger_ wishes you make contact with him as soon as possible.”

Hux clenched his fists. Of course it had to be Ellyn of all people. He was nothing more than an over confident old man who sought to discredit Hux every chance he got. Only because the man was nearly thirty years his senior and Supreme Leader Snoke had chosen Hux to command the then new _Resurgent_ -class Star Destroyer and not him. Ellyn believed there was nothing Hux could do which he couldn’t do better. After the collapse of Starkiller Base, Ellyn had proposed he be demoted and sent to work at some First Order base in the Outer Rim. Hux would’ve admired the major if he wasn’t so insufferable.

He pushed his feelings aside, willing himself to relax. Being angry would not make the task vanish into space, however much he wished it. “Did he say what the matter was about?” he asked, not a slight tinge of irritation in his voice.

Mitaka shook his head. “No, sir. He only said it was a matter of upmost importance.” Hux smirked. Many things could be deemed a matter of “upmost importance” to that man. Gloating about his latest victories for example…

Hux nodded. “Thank you, Lieutenant,” he said. His tone made Mitaka visibly relax. “I’ll make contact with Major Ellyn in my quarters. Only notify me if we’ve been hit by an asteroid.” The lieutenant gave a curt nod and saluted, very stiffly. He turned and marched off the bridge and Hux stared as he disappeared from view. It was then he noticed the volume of the bridge was steadily increasing. While most technicians were completely focused on the Star Destroyer, a group of corporals stood in front of one of the consoles, gossiping quietly. _Kylo Ren_ and _traitor, deserter_ floated on their lips. “Get back to work, then!” Hux snapped at the group of officers, whose eyes turned as wide as moons and whose bodies whipped away back to their stations.

Agitated, he left the bridge towards his private office, hoping to clear his mind. It did little help. It seldom ever did. He walked at a slower pace than usual, only to make Major Ellyn wait longer. _Let the bastard wait._ But the thoughts of the general were overshadowed by the events of five months ago. He couldn’t decide if he was angry with Ren or himself more. After the day in the old records room, Hux had been claimed a hero of the First Order. He’d been taken hostage by the turncoat Knight after he attacked the Supreme Leader. He tried to fight the Knight, to subdue him, but the Knight escaped, becoming the most wanted fugitive in the galaxy. The First Order painted Hux a hero and he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth, or how close he’d been to leaving with Ren. He was nothing more than a coward, scared of being labeled a traitor as well. Every day he told himself his work was exceedingly more important than his feelings for the Knight. _How could one man make him question everything he’d been raised on?_  

But Kylo Ren was gone. He left and was never coming back, which was becoming increasingly difficult to accept. Hux often found himself thinking what would’ve happened if he’d gone with him. Nothing good, surely. Nevertheless, he imagined a life outside the First Order, far from their rule. Living only with Ren and not having a dark shadow looming over them. The idea was almost incomprehensible, but made his heart ache all the same. Ren only existed in his memories now, and he knew he’d never be able to see him again. Because if he did, he’d be bound by duty to kill him.

* * *

Hux entered his office, sweeping off his greatcoat and hung it around his chair. Everything was in perfect order, not a speck of dust out of place. The only item to stand out in the spotless office was a ceramic black mug, a large portion of it broken off. It had been late at night; Hux was getting last-minute paperwork done when Ren strode into his office, mumbling about dreams of his father plaguing him. Hux had comforted him, caressing his face, their lips brushing against each other. When a knock came at the door, they’d panicked, Ren fleeing from the office through the adjacent door connecting to his chamber, knocking over the mug full of coffee in the process. If not for the confused officer at the door, he would’ve laughed.

The day he returned to the _Finalizer_ after Ren left, he almost smashed the mug against wall, picking it up and rearing his arm back. He clutched the mug with almost enough force to break it himself. But the item never left his hand; it only caught the few tears streaming down his face. It was the only item connecting the two of them, and he couldn’t bring himself to destroy it. He promised himself that day he would never again let his emotions rule his head. As a result these months became some of the hardest in his life, making him easily irritated and impatient. His officers were becoming fearful of him, he knew. Even Captain Phasma had outright said her troopers were finding the _Finalizer_ a difficult work environment, more so in the past five months than any time before then. And complaints from the troopers and officers reflected poorly on the general, especially in the eyes of Supreme Leader Snoke.

Hux might be hailed as a hero in the First Order’s eyes, but he knew Leader Snoke was gaining suspicions of his loyalty to the Order, as well was Major Ellyn. The officer would use any opportunity he had have him stripped of his rank. He most likely had spies on board the _Finalizer_ , reporting on Hux’s every move. _Well played._ But it only showed how careful Hux had to be. Any slip up, any tiny misstep and he would be convicted as a traitor to the Order and executed.

Brushing off the thought, the general turned on the transmitter comm on his Holo pad. “General Hux, B. to Major Ellyn, T. FOS _Avenger_ ,” he told the computer.  If only Ren were here… he would surely make Ellyn go mad with his Force tricks. He almost chuckled to himself, but the thought soon turned sour. Within seconds, a small hologram of Major Ellyn appeared, coming out of the screen. Not at all to Hux’s surprise, Ellyn was surrounded by an air of self-assurance, as if he were about to be crowned emperor. Either the major had just asked for a reason to gloat or the news would put him in Leader Snoke’s favours. Neither option was appealing.

 _“Ah, General. Finally you return my transmission,”_ the baritone voice drawled.

“What is so important, Major?” Hux asked, emphasizing the officer’s lower rank just to wipe that cocksure smile off his face. Safe for the minimal joy it brought him, already he wished the conversation could be over.

_“You’d have called me sooner if you knew what I was-”_

“Ellyn, for the sake of the Order, please get on with it,” he snapped.

Ellyn straightened, almost taken aback. _“Alright. One of my fighters managed to track a Resistance X-Wing to the Illenium System, D’Qar. It’s reasonable to assume the Resistance base is still there.”_ This got Hux’s attention immediately. His mind was already putting the pieces together. If the Resistance base was still on D’Qar that would mean Ren… _“It’s also reasonable to assume the traitor Kylo Ren is with them,”_ Ellyn reported, as if reading his thoughts. The older man’s lips curled into a thin smirk.

“Has Supreme Leader Snoke been informed?” Hux asked, very quickly. Cursing himself, he took a breath and made a mental note to talk slower. He couldn’t show any sign of worry or nervousness. Not to Ellyn, who would no doubt report any sway in his emotions to Snoke.

The older man chuckled. _“Of course, Hux. I informed him myself,”_ the major beamed. _“He requested I inform you of the news. Leader Snoke also told me to relay that you should lead the assault on D’Qar,”_ again, the smile. Snoke was asking this of him to make sure he knew where the general’s loyalties lie, no doubt. But, Ellyn...

“Why are _you_ so happy about this, Major?” Hux asked, sitting down at his desk with the pad firmly clutched in his hand. _“Leader Snoke called for a conference among High Command and the commanders of the Star Destroyers to create a plan to bring to him for approval.”_ Hux rolled his eyes. _Of course._ Snoke must not trust him enough to lead an assault on his own. Ellyn knew he had a chance at besting him.

At that moment, however, nothing could be further from his mind. The Order knew the exact location of the Resistance base. They knew where Kylo Ren was. Hux was in charge of making sure he was killed or caught, just so Leader Snoke could make a spectacle of his execution. _Why shouldn’t he let it happen?_ Ren left Hux. Alone. Whatever happened to Ren would be a result of his own actions. But in doing this Hux would be sentencing the man he once loved to capture, torture and execution. The thought made his stomach turn. 

“I understand,” was all Hux could say in reply to Ellyn’s report. _“The conference will take place tomorrow at 0900 hours,”_ the major added. _“Within a week those repugnant beings will be eradicated from the galaxy, and the First Order will finally be the one true power.”_

“Yes, I long for that day,” the general said, but even a simpleton could tell his mind was somewhere else. Ellyn, of course sensed his distraction. _“Thinking of a plan already?  I look forward to hearing it tomorrow,”_ he chuckled. It worried Hux that Major Ellyn knew he wasn’t coming up with a battle strategy, but instead thinking of the Knight who betrayed the Order.

“Until tomorrow, Major,” Hux said. Ellyn nodded and the transmission terminated, leaving an awful silence in the room. 

* * *

Hux entered the sleek _Finalizer_ conference room the next morning exhausted from a restless sleep. Usually, the general could do a few days with minimal sleep, as he often had to complete work for Starkiller Base or a report for Leader Snoke. But Hux hadn’t been doing paper work last night. He’d laid awake, trying desperately to sleep while thoughts of Ren plagued him. _Would Hux really kill or capture him for the sake of staying the ranks? For a title? For a chance to rule the galaxy?_  Even if he didn’t, would the Knight still die at the hands of the First Order?

When Hux had finally managed to get a few hours’ sleep, he’d dreamt of Ren lying in bed beside him, his arm around the Knight’s broad chest, he heat radiating the room. But then he’d felt blood. Thick and hot, covering the sheets, Ren’s body, his face. He’d been holding a corpse. The general had jolted awake from the nightmare, with a racing heart and coated with sweat. He couldn’t let Ren die, no matter what he’d done. _How would he be able to live with himself after sentencing the man he loved to death?_ No matter how much his colleagues called Hux a hero, he knew he was the furthest thing from it. He was a coward, a dishonour to the morals he valued the most.

The fluorescent lighting of the room made Hux’s head ache, but he ignored the pain as he took his seat at the head of the table. His reflection stared back at him on the newly-polished surface. Anyone passing would see an ambitious, ruthless general who would do anything to achieve his goals. And perhaps that’s what he tried to see, but he couldn’t help but feel disconnected from the image staring back at him. _The Order above everything_ , he told himself. He repeated the phrase over and over and over like a mantra, but it didn’t make it any easier to believe.

Colonel Ulysse, Hux’s second-in-command on board the Star Destroyer, entered the conference chamber soon after carrying a mug of steaming coffee and a small stack of papers neatly clipped together. She was almost as organized as the general, even more so at the moment. After the transmission with Major Ellyn had ended, he’d sat in his office for hours, thinking about his future, what he was going to do. He’d stared at the paperwork on his desk and the information Ellyn had sent him concerning the discovery of the Resistance base, not bothering to go through it like he should have. It was much later when Hux scrounged together a sloppy plan to present to the conference which he’d have to lead as Leader Snoke requested. But even his most sloppy plan would put other officers to shame. Still, half a year ago he would’ve scolded himself for coming up with an assault plan so hastily.

“Good morning, General,” Ulysse chirped, taking a sip of her drink.

“And to you,” Hux replied, trying not sound as tired as he was. But nothing got past Colonel Juna Ulysse.

“A long night, was it?” she asked. The general nodded. “I understand. The Resistance filth have been hard to get at, but now we’ve got ‘em. The traitor Kylo Ren can't run forever,” the colonel said it with such bitterness in her tone but with such ambition. Like she would march down to the surface of the planet and shoot all of them herself. And she probably would, if she had the opportunity. However the words stung. Ren was now among them. _Was he still the same person Hux knew him as?_ No, that was ridiculous. The Knight had changed so much since the day he’d been stationed on the _Finalizer_ with him. He’d gone from an immature, reckless, childish warrior to something… different. Something Hux admired.

Soon the bright translucent holograms of the other officers came to life, other generals, majors and colonels of the First Order High Command sitting before him, but light years away. Hux cleared his throat and gained his composure. “As all of you know, the Resistance base was located yesterday at 1100 hours by a special forces TIE fighter who’d placed a tracker on a Resistance X-wing while in pursuit,” he briefed the room. “The X-Wing was tracked to the Illenium system, on the planet D’Qar. We once assumed the Resistance had moved from this location, but it is now apparent they still operate on this planet. Supreme Leader Snoke has requested I lead the assault on the base…” he trailed off but forced himself to continue. “… and the capture of the traitor Kylo Ren.” The sentence was one of the hardest things he had to say. Hux explained his plan, adding elements as he went along. Send the TIEs  and larger shuttles to quickly take out their ships, leaving them unable to leave the planet. After, send in the AALs to take out the ground forces and search for Ren. The plan was quick and efficient, however much pain it brought Hux to say it.

The conference went on for what felt like years, a constant stream of arguing and adding, until the group of officers agreed on the most efficient plan: Scout their ships from just above the atmosphere of the planet and take them out with the Star Destroyer’s cannons. After escape routes are destroyed, the AALs will be sent in to deal with the remaining fighters and to find Ren.

 _“We should put this plan into action as soon as possible,”_ Major Ellyn chimed in. _“Before the Resistance knows we’ve tracked them.”_ The other officers nodded in agreement. Hux would’ve rolled his eye if were not surrounded by his colleagues. Ellyn was so eager to put this mission into action, most likely to get in Leader Snoke’s good graces more than anything. If it were up to Hux, he’d put off the plan as long as possible. He shifted uncomfortably, wanting to get up and walk through the ship, anything to get him moving. He felt like he’d been stationary for far too long.

“I propose going into hyperspace tonight and meeting at the rendezvous point tomorrow to commence the attack,” Colonel Ulysse suggested.

Hux shook his head. “No, let’s go into hyperspace tomorrow morning. A rushed assault with allow for more critical error that could be easily avoided.” Though this was true, it was far from the reason he suggested putting off the attack. “Additionally, I must relay this plan to Supreme Leader Snoke for approval.”

Inside his chest was a storm of conflicting emotions, questions and memories. Duty to the Order or honouring his friend, his love. A life of glory and power, however false, or a life of love freedom. A year ago the choice would’ve been simple: _the Order above everything._ He would’ve never been so foolish to form a relationship that could potentially distract him from his work. But here he was, _actually considering_ sabotaging his own glory, the First Order’s glory, the mission he’d been raised since he was a boy. The thought almost disgusted himself.

The officers around the table considered Hux’s suggestion and finally nodded, though Ellyn’s nose wrinkled in annoyance. Hux smirked. _If for nothing else, that look on Ellyn’s face was worth it._

“Right,” Hux cleared his throat, eager to end the meeting. “I will inform Leader Snoke of the plan tonight. If he approves, tomorrow at 1100 hours the _Finalizer_ will make the jump to hyperspace. The rest of the fleet will meet at the Rendezvous point outside the system at 1300 hours. It is absolutely critical no one attack until we’re coordinated. Any movement too close to the system will alert the Resistance and our mission with be for nothing, understood?” The officers saluted and their transmissions faded from the room. Hux checked his watch. He had exactly twelve hours to decide his fate, and the fate of Kylo Ren. Or it would be too late.

* * *

 _If he left, he would never be able to return. He would lose his life’s work._ Everything he and his family worked for, gone. Was he ready for that? If he stayed, was he willing to accept a life of glory based on falsehood? _What good would leading this life be if it was all based on a lie?_ What was worse, Leader Snoke would eventually out about how intimate their relationship had been, and have him sent to the Unknown Regions where he couldn’t do any damage.

The time was closing in on 2200 hours, leaving only twelve hours before making the jump to hyperspace. He hadn’t informed Snoke of the plan, and he would make contact soon enough. He needed to make the decision that would shape the rest of his life. The Order or Ren? His mind was muddled with a million thoughts, tugging at his chest. One thought tugged the hardest: however hard Hux had tried in the past five months, he couldn’t hate Ren for what he’d done. And now he had the opportunity to save him from being tortured and executed. That was somehow that was more important to him than anything, even the Order.

He had a chance to save his Knight, and _god dammit_ he was going to take it. _Fuck the Order, fuck the Supreme Leader, fuck his family’s legacy._ Ren had showed him more affection than anyone else had in his life. And he couldn’t lose that. He _wouldn’t_ lose that.

Hands shaking, Hux packed a small duffle bag with only what was absolutely needed. A canteen of water, rations, a set of extra clothes, an extra pair of boots and his blaster. If he brought Perhaps he would regret this later, but not now. Now, only saving Ren mattered. As he swept through his office one last time, he paused to gaze at the cracked mug. His officers were expertly trained. If he took the mug with him, they would notice, and it wouldn’t take them long to find out where he was headed. He swept his greatcoat around his shoulders, and exited his quarters for last time. He would never enter those rooms again.

The shiny black halls of the ship were quiet. Only the faint tapping of patrol troopers and the whirring of a distant mouse droid could be heard. If any of the officers passed him, they didn’t give them a second glance. They learned quickly not ask the business of their superior officers.

When Hux entered the hanger control room, the petty officers on duty stood and saluted. “Authorize _Upsilon-_ class shuttle 12A57L for immediate departure,” he said, not a hint of unevenness. The chief petty officer hesitated. “Supreme Leader Snoke has urgent business on the planet’s surface,” Hux added. The officer’s hesitation promptly washed away and she flicked a few switches on the control board, detaching the shuttle from its cable.

“Will you need a crew?” She asked.

“No, I won’t be long,” the general said. A lie.

The chief petty officer nodded. “Very well, sir,” she replied. “Your shuttle is ready for departure.”

“Thank you,” he said as left the room. The officer might be killed later after the Order realised what he’d done, but he couldn’t think about that now.

The shuttle’s doors were already open, and Hux strode in, throwing his duffle bag against the co-pilot’s seat. He thought of all the times Ren had been in a shuttle like this. Soon, soon he would see the Knight again. If he wasn’t killed first. No, he couldn’t think like that now. He started the engines, their soft rumble filling the cockpit. The shields of the Star Destroyer were dropped, and within seconds Hux was surrounded by the emptiness of space. Steadily, he flew towards the planet where Leader Snoke resided, but as soon as he was out of range of the Destroyer he turned off the shuttle’s tracker with the scan of his thumbprint.

This was it. He made his choice. He was leaving the Order, leaving his life behind for the childish Knight he fell in love with. Within seconds, Hux jumped into hyperspace towards D’Qar, leaving what was once his sole purpose in life behind.

* * *

Ben Solo was having a late dinner with his mother for the first time that week. It was his mother’s idea. He would have been perfectly fine eating in his quarters alone as he usually did. After five months, the Resistance was still wary of him, casting him hateful glances and sharp curses when he passed. Some still called him Kylo Ren or the Jedi Killer, even after his mother had re-introduced him as Ben Solo. He didn’t – _couldn’t_ – blame them, which is why he almost always took his meals alone. If Ben was in their position, he would have done just the same.

But his mother had insisted on eating together, just like she’d insisted him to him to try and reconcile with the scavenger, the ex-Stormtrooper and the pilot, Poe Dameron. He’d tried, for his mother’s sake, but what was supposed to be an apology came out as an awkward mess of words which managed to sway none of them. Ben hadn’t made another attempt to apologize.

The food at the base was no more extravagant than the food on the _Finalizer._ Rations, mainly, but somehow the dried meat and wheat by-product tasted much better than anything he’d had in the First Order. The two ate in silence when an officer stormed in, her face scrunched in nervousness. _Commander Dane... or_ _was it Delfin?_ “General,” she breathed heavily, like she’d run the length of the planet to get here. “I apologize for interrupting, but our scanners have spotted a First Order shuttle landing no more than two clicks from here.” Leia stood immediately, as did Ben, their chairs making a loud screech across the tiled floor.

Hux. As fast as the thought came, Ben quickly erased it. The chances of General Hux coming here were very slim. Besides, he had made his choice in the old library all those months ago. The First Order was more important. More important than Ben. Still...

“How long ago?” His mother asked, already following the commander to the main control room. Ben followed closely behind, his mind racing. “I came as soon as we spotted it,” the commander reported.

It was only a short distance from their quarters to the control room, but the walk felt like a lifetime. Though the chances of Hux arriving were almost non-existent, his mind still ran through the little information that was given. A shuttle. A _First Order_ shuttle. Not the Atmospheric Assault Landers carrying squads of Stormtroopers. Not the _Resurgent-_ class Star Destroyers preparing for a full assault, but a small shuttle. Meant for carrying a minimal crew. Ben tried in vain not to get ahead of himself. There could be any number of reasons a First Order shuttle could be landing at the base. This shuttle could be the first part of a larger scale assault. Ben didn't know what scenario made him more anxious.

As they entered the hectic room, officers were hastily working away at their stations, trying to comprehend the situation. Leia, Ben and the officer stopped at the main communication station. Poe Dameron, the scavenger and the ex-Stormtrooper were also there, crowded around. Ben didn't make eye-contact with their glares. “Report,” Leia said.

The officer on duty looked up at her when he spoke. “The shuttle is an _Upsilon-_ class. Should I give orders to start an emergency evac?”

“Yes!” Poe exclaimed, looking at the screen in horror as the shuttle neared the base. But Ben knew better. An _Upsilon-_ class shuttle, a shuttle only meant for a member of First Order High Command. A horrid though washed over him. _Could it be Snoke himself?_  Impossible. Those chances were slimmer than Hux flying the shuttle.

“No, I don’t think we’re in danger,” Ben said just as quick, earning him confused and irritated glances from the room.

"Why are you talking about?" The ex-Stormtrooper asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Those shuttles can only be operated for or by a member of the First Order High Command. They require a minimal crew, two if necessary, but one is possible if you're good." _And Hux was good._ "There’s no logical reason for anyone leading an assault to use it now,” he explained.

“Unless they’re trying to bribe you to come back with their fancy ships…” The ex-Stormtrooper muttered under his breath. Ben narrowed his eyes and him.

"Ben has a good point," the scavenger, Rey, said in his defence. Ben couldn't help but smile the tiniest bit. It still sounded odd hearing his real name spoken on someone else’s lips. Ben still wasn’t used to it. He gazed back at the control board and monitors. It was a wild conclusion, but something inside him told him it was the right thing to do.

“I think I know who’s flying the shuttle. And I need to go alone,” he said, mainly to his mother than the others in the room. "Please, trust me." For whatever ludicrous reason, Hux could be landing only a few clicks away from him. Perhaps he was leading an assault to destroy them, but Ben knew he needed to confront him, whatever the cost.

Leia considered him for what seemed like hours, but finally nodded. "I trust you. Go," she said with a smile. "Thank you," he whispered and bolted out of the room. _"_

 _I hope you're not making a mistake, General,"_ a voice said somewhere behind him, but he brushed it off. The possibility of an oncoming attack faintly loomed in his mind, but it didn't matter. Only the thought of being on the same planet as Hux after months of separation mattered.

As Ben wandered off the grounds of the base into the surrounding forest, he clutched the lightsaber at his side a bit harder. Newly constructed, it still felt warm against his hand. He remembered when Luke had offered to help him make it. In the months after he defected, he'd been so utterly ashamed he couldn't face his old instructor for weeks. The process of connecting with Luke was gradual, and even now they still weren't nearly as close as they'd been when Ben was a young child.

He followed the light of the shuttle until he entered a small clearing, the black silhouettes of the trees surrounding him. It was as if Ben and shuttle were on their own planet, far away from any form of civilization.

The shuttle lay still, almost hidden in the forest. Only the low murmuring of its engines filled the air. The shuttle’s door started its descent as soon as Ben came into the clearing in which it landed. Light from the ship’s inside spilled into the dark forest. Steam came from the ship’s engines, and a singular figure emerged. Ben’s heart leapt as fast as a hummingbird’s. He clutched the lightsaber as his side, but when the figure came into full view, he let go immediately.

Hux.

General Hux stepped down from the shuttle, gazing at him. Ben couldn’t read his expression. Hux’s face was covered with anger, hurt, relief and a million other emotions he didn’t care to know. All he knew was that his general had come to him. The empty space closed between them, and they stood, staring at each other, not saying a word.

“If you’re going to punch me again,” Ben said, breaking the deafening silence, “I would prefer it if you wouldn’t.” Hux’s fists clenched, but instead of hitting his jaw, he only grabbed Ben’s face and pressed their lips together. Ben returned the kiss, closing his arms around the general’s waist. With every passing second, he longed for more. He hadn’t realized how much he missed Hux’s lips against his, their bodies entwined, his arms holding him. Ben took in everything he could from the man holding him. Hux was still in his general’s uniform, the First Order insignia ever present, but everything about him seemed different. Long gone were the hard edges of a ruthless general, replaced by the soft lines of a man in love.

He fell to his knees, landing on the soft grass. Hux followed, mouth still taking in the taste of his lips. He embraced it. He needed it convince himself he wasn’t dreaming. “I hate you for what you’ve done,” Hux whispered in between his kisses, body tensing.

Ben stopped him, wanting to speak to him directly. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through.”

“As you damn-well should be,” Hux replied.

Ben continued. “But this is where I belong. With my mother. Fighting against the First Order. Becoming the Jedi Knight I was meant to be. And I truly understand why you can’t accept it. So please, don’t make this harder than it has to be. Just say why you’re here and be on your way.” As good as this was, a small voice told Ben that Hux couldn’t actually be here to stay. He waited for Hux to respond, to deliver the reason he came and then leave again. The silence was agony.

“I came to be with you. I couldn’t stay in the Order any longer,” Hux said, as if he too didn’t believe the words exiting his mouth. Ben sat in shock. He’d always imagined this moment, of them meeting again on  the same side, but never imagined it would become a reality. 

“In all my wildest dreams I couldn’t foresee you here, beside me, wanting me,” Ben confessed. He had a million questions for Hux. _Why had he come, what made be leave his whole life behind, what was the Order doing?_ But they vanished in the night sky when Hux took his hands in his. His questions would be answered later, and now all he could focus on was the man in front of him. The brave, foolish man who threw his entire life away from him.

“I’m here,”Hux murmured, looking into Ben’s eyes. _Oh, how he missed those green eyes._ They glimmered under the light of the moon. “I’m here and I want to stay. I know that now. I disabled the shuttle’s tracker but the First Order might soon catch up-”

“Don’t think about the Order now,” Ben said, wanting to forget the damned Order completely. They didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was sitting in front of him. “And if this is over too quickly, I’ll make every one of these moments last.” Hux smiled lightly, squeezing his hands a bit tighter. It seemed as if he too thought this was a dream. Ben swallowed, saying words he’d never thought he’d get to say. “Know that I’ll be here, holding you. As long as you’re mine.” Hux’s hands wove through his mess of hair, and they closed the space between them, their foreheads touching. Their voices now were no louder than a whisper.

“Kylo Ren, I never thought I’d feel so brainless yet so wise when I’m with you. You’ve got me seeing through completely different eyes.”

“I want to make up for all the time we lost,” Ben said. It seemed as if he’d gone a lifetime without Hux, and only now was he getting a chance at a new start.

Hux gazed away just for a split second, but worry filled his eyes. “Ren… It’s unlikely there’s a future for us—”

Ben cut him off with another kiss. “I don’t care,” he breathed and leaned in for another kiss.

Hours seemed to pass between them. They never took their eyes off each other, their hands off each other, for fear this moment would disappear in a hazy dream. 

“What is it?” Hux asked, noticing Ben’s slight gaze back towards the base.

“Ben Solo,” the Knight said finally, breaking the silence. The name was no louder than a whisper. Hux blinked. “That’s my name, my _real_ name,” he clarified, a smile creeping onto his face. He’d longed to say these words to the general for five months. Hux ran his gloved hand through Ben’s hair again.

“It’s beautiful.”


End file.
